I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS

I was recently on a retreat with the high school youth group I am a leader in. It was an incredible, God filled, weekend and lots of growth happened in the students, leaders and myself. One night, Pastor Jon, read this and the band played the last two lines. It hit me so hard. I love what this is saying and I hope I can continue to grow and change as God does more and more in my life.

"I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. I've stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His. 

I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.

I'm finished and done with low living, sidewalking, small planning, smooth-knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, worldly-talking, cheap-giving, and dwarf goals. 
I no longer need pre-eminence, position, promotion, applause, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. 
I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience. I am uplifted by prayer and labour by power.My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is Heaven. My road is narrow. My way is rough. My companions are few. MY GOD RELIABLE. My mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of my adversaries, negotiate at the table of my enemy, or ponder at the pool of popularity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I've stayed up, stored up, prayed up, preached up for the cause of Christ. 
I am a disciple of Jesus.

I will FIGHT for You. I will DIE for You. I will GO for You.

We will FIGHT for You. We will DIE for You. We will GO for You."
May this be my prayer, my heart and my life God. Amen.

The End of the Beginning: Part II

At the beginning of my summer, early May, I blogged The End of the Beginning.

I blogged about
school..
change..
and really doing it.

Well I got the change part. Just not the change I was expecting. The change I got is:
no school..
no job..
and no idea what I am doing.

As I look back I see this...

I look at myself and say, "What have you done Jesse? Why did you think you would do well, without doing any of the work? Why do you get so lazy and procrastinate so much, to the point of no return? And to top it all off think you can always weasel your way out of it?"
I told myself it is time to change.

And 3 months later I am still saying the same things to myself. Why am I lazy? Why do I procrastinate on things? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

I don't want this "me" anymore. I am sick of it, sick of always failing at important things. I want a new me..

a me that wont quit when things are tough.
a me that does work when needed.
a me that can finish school... and do well in it.
a me that reads God's word and prays like I should.

I need this change if I am going into ministry. And I cannot do it alone. I need to call upon my friends and family to keep me accountable and to pray for me regularly. I give up on things so easily and I clearly do not have the strength to fix that. God, however, does and I know He wants to help me. So here I am Lord.

Lord, this is my prayer tonight. It is a prayer of surrender. From this day forward I want to be yours, fully, in word and deed. This is not another one of those prayers where I say to myself I want change, but deep down I don't. I am addicted. I am addicted to sin, the one thing that separates me from you for eternity. My flesh finds it so attractive, yet my soul longs to find a path without it. This is a sincere and heart spoken prayer for change, love, and help. This is me saying I cannot do this change alone. This is my laying my life down in complete surrender to what you have willed for me. This is me saying I don't want to me forging my own path, but to be walking along side you on the path you have made for me. The is the real end of the beginning for me. This is my white flag. This is me falling on my knees begging for forgiveness. This is a prayer for a new life and a new me. Lord, show me what needs to be done to have a new, corrected, God honoring life that is pleasing to you. I pray all of this is Jesus precious name. Amen

Jeremedina

One of my brothers, Jeremy, has been gone interning since January, for the most part. He has been home a couple times, but I still miss him a lot. Jeremy is not too much older than me, but we have shared a lot of good times together. And we dont get along all the time, but i still love him immensely and cant imagine life without him being a part of my family. Jeremy, this is for you..

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and one more. still my favorite pic of us brothers.

enjoy!